I don’t need no stinkin’ mentor.

A mentor is going to look at what I am doing wrong.  At my mistakes.  A mentor will see that I don’t know everything.  I struggle, sometimes with simple things.

A mentor in MLM is someone who has built an organization.  Someone who does recruit.  Someone who shows you how to recruit.  If you do not have an up-line who can call prospects with you and show you how it is done, you work with a huge disadvantage.  I have concluded that most uplines do not know how to teach the business for one simple reason.  Most of them have not done it themselves.

I avoided being seen as not knowing things since at least the fourth grade.  When we began long division, I could not ask for help.  I had studied it last year.  I had to go home, go thru the book, study how it was done and learn it again.  I could not admit not knowing.  That would mean I did not understand.

Well, the time has come.  I don’t know lots of things.  I have been slow at learning about relationships.  I think too much.  I am too careful.  I keep my lamp hidden.  In fact, I have almost made it invisible.

Now, I am ready to learn.  I am ready to build a business.  I have found a mentor and with hin, I am ready to go.  Guess what, even mentor’s don’t know and can’t do everything.  Who knew?

Going it alone?

I did everything alone.  I could almost not ask for help.  I can attest this is not a good way to live or simply exist.

I tried doing business on my own, since no one would hire me.  I did not do well, but the trying kept me going.  I tried to tell and sell.

The thing that started to turn me around was BNI (Business Network International).   The first meeting I attended sounded good, but why would I pay $500 to join.  I did not see the value.  I struggled.

My second meeting, a year later, I was ready.  I heard the message.  The motto of BNI is simple, “Givers Gain.”  Your purpose is to find referrals for other people.  You build relationships.  After all, 95% of the people you meet are not going to do business with you.  However, everyone is looking for something.  By having trusted friends, I give you a referral.  That referral makes me look good.  I am building relationships, not selling.  Relationships do work to build business.

What did I learn?  Don’t try to sell my product or service to everyone you meet.  Find out what they need and help them get it.  I know my time will come.

I also began to see the need for a structured program to succeed.  BNI tracks almost everything that may affect referrals.  You are not likely to do this by yourself.  Why try?  Find some people who can help your succeed.  BNI training is great.

Everyone is not my customer.

I can’t do business alone.

I have to find trusted people to help.  Most of us need that help.  Do you?

What do I know?

Not that much.

The problem is that so many people think they know things they really don’t know.

What do I mean?  A simple example is how to control our weight.  This has become a major industry and problem for many people.  Yet when we look at  weight control by controlling calories, we see a real problem.  Just an additional 100 calories a day will lead to a large increase in weight over time.  Yet, many people control their weight over a lifetime without any effort.  They do not watch what they eat.  Yet somehow they do not gain weight.  The idea is simple, the body controls our weight.  If we make that control too complex, it will not work.  We end up working to decide how much and what we will eat at every meal.

Is there a simpler way?  I think there is.  A reading of Gary Taubes is very instructive.  He lays out the evidence and the control is much easier than we have been lead to believe.  Maybe we are trying too hard to control weight.  Another part is exercise does help, but it is independent of weight.  We can be healthy and overweight.

Maybe we should relax and stop trying to control everything.

We think we can control our society with more rules.  The problem is that as we introduce new rules, we can never tell what the results will be.  Saying the rule will produce a certain outcome does not make it true.  Controlling prices may not help.  Price controls likely will simply result in shortages.  But, but….  We can look at the problem and come up with a reasonable solution.  Maybe not.

My recommendation.  Stop trying to control everyone.  If you think something is important to do, then do it.  Do not try to force everyone else to do your bidding.

Positive Psychology – An Introduction

Imagine being able to move average people into the ranks of high achievers.  The value of positive psychology is that there are ways to help people become more successful, to flourish.

Martin Seligman began asking if we could help people become more successful. His research shows that such a change is possible. About 20% of the poplulation is positive and resilient. This means they are not discouraged at a failed project, they learn from their experience and move on.

Positve psychology research shows that people can learn to be more successful. Take a look at a TED talk by Martin Seligman,

Personal Networking

Many small business owners start out by being riffed, being over 40, and not able to find jobs.  “Uh, oh,” you say, “Now it’s time to network.”

Not!  Yes, you should have been networking already.  The best time to start is years before.  The next best time to start is now.

For the new small business, business networking is a vital.  Fortunately, networking is  a skill that you can learn, even if you are network unaware.

You can learn.  First, learn what networking is and then how to network.  You learn and refine your networking skills in groups like BNI, Business Networking International, with the motto, “Givers gain.”  First you help others, then some of them will refer clients to you.

Social Media usually refers to taking this networking to the interne.